Sharing The Experience : Chef Haryani
So I'm finally OUT... Did I expect it? Yes & No... How do I feel?? Surprised? Disappointed? Relieved? Happy? Well, all of the above. How long do you think I will last?? The odds are against me... I was surprised cos I thought I was doing OK, I did not cock-up anything badly.. Yes my performances were not perfect and I guess OK is not good enough.
"Ada yang kurang ", kata BJ... Erm ape yang kurangnye?? Pertuturan tidak jelas? Tiada X-factor? Kurang menghiburkan?? I think thats the reasons.I was mainly disappointed not becos of missing the chance of winning $10k (which will really came in handy next year!) or the holiday/spa prizes (which I badly need!).. But disappointed that I don't get the chance to fight it out with the guys again!! I can't challenge myself anymore! I can't host & cook infront of the camera anymore!! I love the challenges! They gave me a certain high & excitement that I always crave for.. Its like performing tarian or drama on stage..I love all that!
My hosting segment at Geylang was quite disappointing..Why? Fyi I was unwell that day. Sakit puan... It was my first menses after childbirth and I was bleeding non-stop for the last few weeks already! Somehow that day, the bleeding was quite excessive. So this is not normal. I was kinda worried.. Actually the producers intended for me to see my gynae after the shoot at Geylang (& they wanna shoot all that!) but shooting ended late & Dr. Aziz had to rush to the hospital.. So for me, it was mind over matter. I literally brush all the pain & discomfort away. The next day was the cooking challenge & I was glad that the main ingredient was rice. I can't stand when I hear people say, " Oh I should cut down on rice, its fattening." So I always advise them otherwise, like I tried to explain on the show. I know I talked to fast, but I just can't help it. People who knew me have gotten use to my train-talking already!! I talked fast when I'm pressured, stressed or when I'm rushing for time & thats the exact situations during the cooking challenges! I felt relieved that its finally over.. I was away for 1 week already..The competition was really tiring & stressful... And of cos I missed Marsya badly. I cried almost every night looking at her pictures.. When the camera caught me crying, I was at my weakest moment. Its like I was crying to the camera.. I always find relief when I share my emotions with family/friends.. And this time, I was sharing it with the camera. I just wanna let go.. I missed Marsya horribly.. The next morning when I reached home, my body finally gave up on me. I was bleeding even more! When the burden of the competition is off, my mind zoomed in on my body..My mind can't ignore it anymore like when I was at the penthouse. I felt so weak!! I waited for hubby to come home & we immediately fetched Marsya from my in-laws.. Was I HAPPY to see her!! Unbelievable that my baby is finally in my arms! After that we rushed to Dr. Aziz's clinic. He scanned me & luckily there's no abnormal growth or anything like that.. That can cause excessive bleeding actually.. I guess my system/hormones is still unstable, coupled this with the stress & pressure that I was feeling during the competition. But Alhamdulliah, after some rest (mentally & physically), the bleeding finally subsided the next day.. Yes I was stressed by the competition...Yes I'm OUT but I had no regrets. I'm glad I pushed myself. I'm proud of myself for being brave and I know I put my 100% effort during the competition. Never once I wanna give up my place or say that I wanna go home no matter who tough it gets.. I'm grateful for the friendship forged with the guys.. I'm grateful to be given this experience & to discover yet another aspect of myself. The memories of this competition will stay with me forever.Thank you to all the 11 wonderful guys who made my stay much more pleasant & fun.. You guys rock!! I hope to be part of your 'ink' OK?? wink wink... Thank you to the judges & producers for choosing me & giving me this once in a life-time chance.. hope to work with u guys again if there's a chance, wink wink wink.. Thank you to all my friends & supporters of Chef Selebriti for giving me your constant encouragement & support.. Thank you to my family & last but not least my wonderful husband for always supporting & believing in me... I LOVE U ALL!!!
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